For the first half of 2015, I spent most of my time trying to adjust to the changes in my life after attending church regularly. I tried to fathom the idea of being part of an amazing community that felt different yet so familiar at the same time. My mind couldn’t grasp the idea of being so loved by God and His people! It wasn’t until I was writing this piece, that I got the chance to reflect on the past year.
Coming from a non-Christian background, religion was something I struggled with a lot, mostly because no one really told me about God — a topic that was hardly brought up in conversations. There were a bunch of unanswered questions, left aside and eventually slipped my mind as I grew up. My primary and secondary school days were overflowed with moments of me trying to fit in; just like everyone else. I was so determined to be accepted that I changed my looks, pretended to like the things I didn’t, rebelled against my family and ultimately moulded myself to be like the “cool kids”. All that fear of being judged withheld me from taking that step further in life. Even my love for music and singing wasn’t discovered until I turned 17! Things slowly took a turn when I started college where I began to feel more comfortable in my own skin.
Some days, even though I still find myself in a deep pile of mess that feels impossible to escape, putting my trust in God helps me to overcome the storm.
This time last year, I was brought into a new light by a wonderful friend of mine – Wennishe, who never failed to encourage me to attend church again and again. Along the way, I’ve witnessed many breakthroughs and met countless of amazing individuals. It was as if the walls that encapsulated me started to break down. Besides having opportunities to do the things I love, like designing and performing, there were many lessons and values en route.
I learnt to be an active participant, respect those around me whether young or old, to not dwell in the past and to be quick to forgive no matter how hard it is. Above all, I was constantly reminded of His great love again and again. Some days, even though I still find myself in a deep pile of mess that feels impossible to escape, putting my trust in God helps me overcome the storm. I’m humbled to know that He has been by my side through the darkest of times, and will continue to be there.
Our lives are in the hands of our Mighty Saviour, and He has everything perfectly timed.
Now that we’ve entered a new year, I sense God is preparing me for a fresh work. As excited as I am, there will always be questions that put me on the edge — “What do I want to do after graduating?”, “What’s my biggest passion?”, “What’s my true purpose in life?”. It’s crazy to think that I’m capable of answering these questions when I don’t even know what to have for lunch tomorrow. The truth is, I’m still on the path of discovering myself and learning to be a better person altogether. And I’m pretty sure the same questions will continue to daunt me as time goes by. Perhaps my older and wiser self would be able to provide a better answer. As of now, I think it’s perfectly fine that we don’t have a clue about the future. Our lives are in the hands of our Mighty Saviour, and He has everything perfectly timed.
I’m humbled to know that He has been by my side through the darkest of times, and will continue to be there.
Twenty fifteen has taught me many lessons, and brought many irreplaceable experiences and people into my life. Most importantly, I became closer to God. And though some things and people around us often shift and change, I am privileged to know that His love will always, always remain the same.
Gwen Yap
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